Monday, May 28, 2012


YOLO - You only live once.

When a phrase becomes popular (and its rare that I actually like that phrase too...YOLO) why must society overuse it in unnecessary situations and make it annoying? Well I've decided I would make a few of my own catchy abbreviations... all more catchy than YOLO!

YOYO - You're on your own

YODO - You only die once.

YOPA - You only poop always.

YOGLO - You only get lice once.
YOMJWPN - You only meet Jack White probably never.

SWSEJ - Same with Sir Elton John.

YOPTM - You only procrastinate too much.

YOFIAPA - You only fall into a pothole always.

YOFN - You only fly never.

YORAYA - You only rant about YOLO always.

YOLNTIYAC - You only live nine times if you're a cat.

YOLO spelled backwards: OLOY - Only losers obey YOLO

Thank you Grace and Mitchell from the land of youtube for inspiring this post of mine.. I stole two of your abbreviations. Thanks.
 AND the cycle continues.

Saturday, May 19, 2012


Well, I tripped in a pothole the other day while walking my dogs. I fell face first and then just lied there like a fool with my dogs' leashes still in my hands. I looked up at all three of them as they casually stood there with what looked like a "this is so awkward, humans are such twits, may we please carry on" sort of look, if dogs even have those. At this point I decided I should probably get up from the ground to save both me and my dogs from any more embarrassment, but thankfully no one was watching that I know of. I literally lied there for probably about 5 minutes.

I didn't feel like continuing with the walk so I headed back home and, as I began to recover from the imponderable raw pain stabbing at my knees, palms and face, I came to realize the reason I almost just died. The crazy, dreaded man of which lives around the corner of my street. The street I tripped on has cars passing through regularly (for people do live here you know), and that crazy, dreaded man who's house is in front of this street thinks it is his own yard. Despite giving drivers dirty looks as they pass by, he started to purposely make potholes to wreck people cars (and faces) and make it so they would have to slow down, better yet, not come down that street whatsoever.

Everyone has crazy neighbors, but I think this man might be worthy of an Oscar. He also has a German shepherd named "Sochi" that has attacked my dogs and barks at them each time we pass his home.

"Well why would you ever choose to pass his home?"

Sochi man (which we have now nicknamed him) needs to get that that is not his street, and I refuse to go all out of my way just to walk my dogs to the park. A letter was sent out by town council or something awhile back showing pictures of huge gravel rocks that he uses to make the potholes, and other pieces of evidence showing he's lost all of his marbles. There have been many complaints, and I think there might have even been a petition saying he should either relocate or change his ways.

Now he annoys my mother and many other neighbors asking them if they believe in the things that were said in the letter and if they know who wrote it. I think he's a bit intimidating, and everyone believes everything in the letter of course, so my mom always answers with a "Excuse me I have to be somewhere," and gives no opinion.

I dont think he's the blog follower/ social-media type so I hope he wont be seeing this post, but you know what, I dont even care if he does, he needs to wake up and smell the potholes of which he has created. Frankly, I've had enough of you Sochi man, enough! 

It's a Pleasure

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Britain's Got Talent Audition

Julian: "I'm gonna be doing a rap song that I wrote with my grandmother."

Piers: "Alright, and what's your dream, Julian?"

Julian: "Well, I'd have to say my dream is, uh, when I'm falling.. and I keep falling.. and I fall some more and.. I never stop falling... and then I see the ground, and right before I see the ground.. I wake up.. every time. 

Piers: "Alright, well, now's your chance."


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

That time I finally killed that giant mosquito eater that I let live in my home for 3 days thinking it would kill any actual mosquitoes that lurked around, only to find out they don't really kill mosquitoes, they are harmless, and they aren't even really called mosquito eaters, they are called "crane flies."